Marriage: How to Make Your Spouse Your #1 Client

When you get out of bed in the morning, you probably have a laundry list of action items you want to get done. I understand this perfectly. This is how the mind of an entrepreneur works. For the first ten years of my career, I got up every morning and charged courageously through my list of daily tasks.

I did this because I believed with all my heart that my primary goal should be to earn and provide for my wife and kids. In turn, she would love me. The funny thing was, I got it backward.

What she wanted was for me to have fun in my craft and spend quality time together building memories. Instead, I was putting all my energy into trying to perform and please her. I was utterly worn out because I had the right drive, but I was aimed at the wrong target.

As an entrepreneur, your life is probably packed with meetings, relationships, collaborations, and initiatives. But no matter how prestigious, how much fame, how much money or influence they bring you, those things cannot come at the expense of your marriage. Here are a couple of tips that will help you keep your spouse as your #1 client.

The most effective entrepreneurs I have ever met and interviewed all have this in common: they made their spouse their number one client.

Here’s how my wife Chantel and I have accomplished this. For the last eighteen years, we’ve invested one night each week for a date night. During this night we are intentional about taking inventory of our marriage, careers, and parenting. We ask what we like least about the current season we’re in and what we want more of.

Here’s the bottom line: your marriage is the bedrock, the foundation of everything else in your day and life. When you make him or her your number one client and priority you will see the dynamic of your marriage and family change around you.

Tip: If you have trouble connecting with your spouse and things are challenging, make weekly dates to have intentional time with each other. During these times, become a professional listener like you are with your most valued clients. Find out their most significant needs and dreams the same way you do your clients. Then, create plans and strategies to underwrite and support their dreams. This is your chance to put yourself aside and serve the heart of your spouse.

If you don’t take care of your spouse and children, someone else will.

Action: Answer this question, “If my best friend were to ask my spouse to grade me on our marriage, what would my report card be?” I firmly believe that as entrepreneurs we have no business trying to change the lives of people at our company and in the world through our products if we haven’t first served our number one priority: our spouse and children.

Your spouse can reveal your blind spots and hidden value better than anyone else. Marriage is a blessing, not a burden. It should provide a haven, stability, and the freedom to be you. Your spouse is your number one client. Would he or she agree?

Pro tip: When you say good morning to your spouse, ask them, “What do you need today and how can I help?”

Begin today putting one drop at a time into the bucket of your spouse’s emotional account. It’s an investment that will pay the most return and dividends.

Leave me a comment below by answering: What are some fun, cheap ways you can have a date night and connect intentionally? Leave me some ideas!

Have a blessed week!

Noah

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3 thoughts on “Marriage: How to Make Your Spouse Your #1 Client

  1. Kellie B. says:

    This topic is SO important for all entrepreneurs and yes, even us stay at home mom’s running that B&B 😉 GREAT POST!!!

  2. STEPHANIE FARRELL says:

    Noah – you are so right – you always remind me about the important stuff. I became a widow three years ago, when my husband left us by his own hand. I have two children who are such great kids. My son was 14, and my daughter 16 at the time. They are now 17 and 19. My husband was an attorney with his own business for just a few years when I had discovered his multiple affairs and confronted him. The betrayal has been overwhelming and devastating. We were married almost 20 years. Just 29 days after I confronted him, he abandoned us in my presence. No life insurance came through, as he did this just two months before it would pay a dime… I don’t have a spouse anymore, but God is here with me and us and in the middle of our lives and always has been. He is seeing us through. Needless to say, it has been very hard. But, we’ve kept our faith and eyes on him all the while. My daughter, Kate, has just completed her first year at Cal-State Fullerton as a liberal arts major. She loves it and along with taking seven classes each semester and working 20 hours/week, she made the Dean’s List both semesters. I am so proud of her! My son, Jack, is equally successful. He is entering his senior year sporting a 4.0 gpa in a private Christian high school. I have experienced just what you are describing – putting God first and letting him sort out all the details, and boy has he! The kids and I were very blessed to meet you a few years back, at the Gallery in Downtown Disney. You were so gracious and took the time to speak extensively with my daughter and gave her such encouragement as an artist. She has your autographed art hanging in her room and treasures that memory – Thank you for that. I work in California quite often and have thought about reaching out to you to thank you personally. But, knowing how busy you are, I guess I figured you probably wouldn’t have much time. Thank you so much for the inspiration every week – It’s being put to good use here.
    Stephanie Farrell

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