One of the Greatest Gifts I Gave my Wife…

Let me paint the picture: It was 2010, recession in full effect, stepmom with cancer, son with special needs and our life was “survival”. My business was challenging in the midst of the economic climate and Chantel’s business as a hair colorist was stressful. Our life was full of responsibility with two young kids and managing our two businesses. The hamster wheels were going way too fast.

We were out for date night one night. It is our normal practice on date nights to ask each other what would make the marriage better. This night I asked differently:

“If you could have your dream life what would it look like?”

Her response was prompted by a smile. “Really? Anything?” I said, “yes”. She then said she had all she wanted, husband and kids but it would be ideal to sell her partnership in her salon. It was her dream to move the business home and have time with the family. Her schedule, her time, and her way. I told her, “done!”. She couldn’t believe it. I told her we couldn’t live a life that was anything short of our dream and the one she wanted. If this is what she needed then I wanted it. I gave us both permission. We pulled the trigger next day.

Dreaming has changed our marriage, our careers, and family. Fears raised up to hamper the dreams but we challenged them to make work fit our life and not life fit our work. We feared clients wouldn’t stay with her, didn’t think it would work a few days a week and that clients would want a fancy salon. Quite the opposite, the business flourished with the best of clients, when Chantel does her craft it’s in her world that she built, time freedom to get the kids and be present, we get to do lunch together as a couple, she works less and has more. It was one of the greatest gifts I gave my wife.

Our life is far from ordinary and to most doesn’t make sense because it’s nothing what our culture advertises. It will cost you nothing to dream but everything not to.

I believe individual’s souls get ignited when they give themselves permission to dream ridiculous dreams. Places to live, things to do, and ways to do it. If your dreams aren’t intimidating to you they are most likely insulting to God.

If you are married, I encourage you to dream big and crazy. Then write out what it would take to make them a reality. You are a team.

What are some of your crazy dreams of an ideal life? I’d love to hear. Please leave a comment below and feel free to share this with others. Thanks for being here!

14 thoughts on “One of the Greatest Gifts I Gave my Wife…

  1. Gregory Stapleton says:

    One of the things I love about Noah University is the transparency. That seems to be the keyword in this recent culture. And that’s why I really appreciate you and Terry. You have no problem letting us in your home so to speak. I really enjoyed reading your honest words. Great encouragement.

  2. Jay Neaves says:

    Great story, Noah! Dreaming the biggest dreams and making them real is at the very least uncomfortable and worst frightening but what happens when we don’t dream? What happens if we all sit back and accept our lot? Our world would still be flat and empty. It is only by daring to dream and being bold enough to take those dreams forward that we create a life of our own design.

  3. Jay Neaves says:

    Great story, Noah! Dreaming the biggest dreams and making them real is at the very least uncomfortable and worst frightening but what happens when we don’t dream? What happens if we all sit back and accept our lot? Our world would still be flat and empty. It is only by daring to dream and being bold enough to take those dreams forward that we create a life of our own design.

  4. Karen Aytes says:

    Noah,
    Your words are just what I needed to hear today. I have been struggling with this as well. It is hard as a wife to tell you husband you want something to change. I am always afraid he won’t understand. As your wife did I finally told him what had been bothering me for months. He thankfully said why didn’t you tell me, I want you to do what makes you happy not me. I think as women we forget all to many times to think about ourselves. We are always wanting to please our husband, kids, family etc. I know now that if one of us is not happy it will affect our marriage, and that is not a good thing. Thanks for you sharing you are very inspiring to me.
    God Bless!

  5. Bob Shank says:

    “Old age sets in… when your memories become more powerful than your dreams.” Some people are old at 30; a few remain young at 70. Dream on, Noah and Chantel!

  6. Constance Himelberger says:

    That was beautiful, Noah! Mark and I have been married for 45 years, and we will never stop dreaming, planning and growing. If you both stand together, united in love…you can face anything. You have a beautiful family….God Bless !

  7. Jay Waters says:

    Dude that’s spot on. I was told as a kid in school that I day dreamed too much so much so that I believed it. I surrounded myself with non dreamer and so I kinda became one, I the background I still had dreams of a better life. Now I use my dreams to fuel my actions and encourage my family to do the same. You have been a big help Noah for that I thank you.

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